So on Wednesday Kevin, Debbie, and I flew down to Orlando, FL for Surf Expo - something we do every year around this time. This is the closest thing we have to a "business trip" - oh yeah we can write it off our taxes and everything it's legit. Except that when you walk through the entrance this is the first thing you see:
Now while I realize that we all know that this woman's masters degree in marketing is being put to work here promoting a product of not only economic but social and humanitarian significance I think we need to discuss the obvious problem with the execution. The QR code on her shirt is very likely not going to be properly read because that shirt is wrinkled. I realize that she was in a rush to get out there because she forgot about her pants but the wrinkled QR code is going to ruin an otherwise genius idea.
I love the concept of models. It's like putting ketchup on a crappy hotdog to make it taste better.
Was that too much? I can, and do, appreciate a beauty as much as anyone else but c'mon some of these girls need to get their heads out of their asses and don't even get me started on male models - except Derek Zoolander duh he's rad.
Scan it - c'mon do it I dare you!!
What's so special about ketchup? Nothing that's what - it's a bunch of tomatoes liquified then a lot of the water cooked out of them add salt & sugar to make it taste better then squirt it on said crappy hotdog to make IT taste better. In the end you just wind up eating two crappy things. What are models? Generally self absorbed, insecure, personality deprived, unintelligent bitches stripped down and painted up to make you look past their inability to have any kind of meaningful human interaction then plopped down next to some crappy product to make IT look better. Ever see a hot model posing it up in a Mercedes ad? Or a Dewey Weber surfboard ad? Nope - because those are quality products that can stand alone without ketchup smeared all over them to make 'em taste better. When we first started our shop I found that I had a really difficult time looking at the women's clothing lines because I couldn't look past the models - everything looked good to me. You could send these girls out in a manure stained coffee sack trimmed out in zip ties, and speaker wire and I'd be writing an order for 50 in each color. Thank God Debbie has been in charge of women's ordering since the beginning and that I've since realized that models just get in the way of doing real work. And really does anyone want to have a relationship with these girls? Date - sure but c'mon, when you're out to dinner laying groundwork I'm willing to bet there aren't any plans to finish construction beyond the plumbing (damn that was good metaphor - I'm telling you, Drewski Blogtacular Day - gonna happen!)
What's so special about ketchup? Nothing that's what - it's a bunch of tomatoes liquified then a lot of the water cooked out of them add salt & sugar to make it taste better then squirt it on said crappy hotdog to make IT taste better. In the end you just wind up eating two crappy things. What are models? Generally self absorbed, insecure, personality deprived, unintelligent bitches stripped down and painted up to make you look past their inability to have any kind of meaningful human interaction then plopped down next to some crappy product to make IT look better. Ever see a hot model posing it up in a Mercedes ad? Or a Dewey Weber surfboard ad? Nope - because those are quality products that can stand alone without ketchup smeared all over them to make 'em taste better. When we first started our shop I found that I had a really difficult time looking at the women's clothing lines because I couldn't look past the models - everything looked good to me. You could send these girls out in a manure stained coffee sack trimmed out in zip ties, and speaker wire and I'd be writing an order for 50 in each color. Thank God Debbie has been in charge of women's ordering since the beginning and that I've since realized that models just get in the way of doing real work. And really does anyone want to have a relationship with these girls? Date - sure but c'mon, when you're out to dinner laying groundwork I'm willing to bet there aren't any plans to finish construction beyond the plumbing (damn that was good metaphor - I'm telling you, Drewski Blogtacular Day - gonna happen!)The Date with the Smokin Hot Model
Fade in: Interior, dimly lit fashionable Asian fusion restaurant in up & coming hip urban neighborhood. A semi attractive man smartly dressed sits with a Smokin Hot woman in a small booth with cocktails. They have just placed a dinner order and their waiter (dressed in skin tight jeans and a black beanie) walks away with their menus.
Dude: "You look lovely tonight?"
Smokin Hot Model (SHM): "Awwwww thanks!" (brushes hair over her ear then straightens it back over on both sides taking a quick glance at the ends)
Dude: "So that QR code was a brilliant idea today at the Expo you really must have noticed a bump in the website metrics!"
SHM: "QR code? I look at Fahrenheit - cuz that's how we do it in America metrics are for Europe and all they know how to do is shoes haha"
Dude: "Yeahhh ha you're right." "So how long have you be modeling?"
SHM: "Oh wow I've been doing it for, like, ever"
Dude: "That's great! You're really cut out for it. So what about long term? What kind of plans do you have?"
SHM: "Oh well I'm working on my portfolio still but I met this really great photographer in a club last weekend who said he'll shoot my photos for free! He's got a studio at his house - I just have to schedule a time to go over there and do it! But I'm doing these expos for now to get some exposure and once my portfolio is done I'm gonna put in for some magazine gigs and get an agent and... (dude drifts off to fondly thinking about his most recent dental work and the time he was beaten near to death by a mass of people in steel toed boots while SHM's master plan of modeling world domination unfolds across the table from him)
Fade to dude dream sequence: The camera is tight on SHM's mouth jabbering away then to dude who casually glances under the table at SHM's perfectly shaped legs, he takes her leg into his hand and sensually runs it down her calf and slowly removes the stiletto heel from her foot firmly grasping her heel in his hand then plunges the heel into his own neck and slits his throat from ear to ear to end his suffering.
Fade out of dream sequence to smiling guy who realizes he is still alive and drops his head into his hands.
My Very Tall Friend Benny & Very Short Sister-in-Law Debbie
Was that too much? I can, and do, appreciate a beauty as much as anyone else but c'mon some of these girls need to get their heads out of their asses and don't even get me started on male models - except Derek Zoolander duh he's rad. Long story short, Surf Expo was great as always and we're looking forward to 2012 and having some killer stuff in the shop. We went out to some fantastic meals and had some laughs and made some contacts and generally got a lot of work done. My friend, Adam, was there for his first Surf Expo showing his new line East Coast Original Surfers (check it out it's cool! Website, Facebook) and it was cool to see his reaction to the enormity of Surf Expo as well as him hustling to get his new little company started on a very large industry stage. I wish him the best of luck.
Can't wait to see how much hate mail I get about how models are people too. Let me answer you now: "I know they aren't all stupid", "Yes I most certainly CAN date a hot girl but she needs to be able to hold a conversation or I don't want to date her", "What exactly do you think I'm jealous of?", and "Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about but maybe I do, why do you even care?"
Have a great week!
Drew
2 comments:
Good grief..... Bad ketchup/models.....Dr. Drew, you need help.
nice!
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